Ambition

Who stole my ambition?

Who would do such a thing?

Perhaps it was the "I" that stole the "me",

Along with its precious time

And memories.

So now what?

How does one live in this world with

No identity?

Seems the "I" has been placed into

Structure and form,

Now some-one must learn to

DO SOMETHING!

I notice the desire for purpose

Is present and unclear,

Because I want to know,

Whose purpose do I serve

In a sea of "me's"

And its collective fear?

Perhaps I'll invest my energy

Into defining this "I"

As both dark and light...

As the beauty we all nod

And agree upon,

As much as the ugly stuff

That sparks a bit of fun

When plastered on the "other" one.

I have no plans

And I've lost all attachment to "fun".

Sounds scary... I know,

But I find there's so much to absorb

When the "I" is here,

And has lost all ambition

To run.

What Does God Feel Like?

In the middle of the night last night, I awoke to a question, "What does God feel like?"

That's it! The question begs for more than the usual, tired old words, concepts, and ideas.  I have been stuck in a paradox of "now what?" for a little over a year now. I feel like I have been bounced into another dimension from my direct feeling experiences with this liquid Love of the Universe, yet I find that I am unable to run to a cave that will protect me and the purity of this awakened state. It is my understanding that there are many of us who have been touched and changed by this Divine Frequency and we are being challenged to create and build an entirely new reality - founded on the Frequency of Love.  Sadly, I have found that language is not the best tool for sharing these inspirations. Music is better, but I have found that if it's too different from what our culture has settled on as an "acceptable" form of entertainment, using popular radio broadcast as the measuring rod, it will be rejected... much like the Wisdom that flows in the in-between of language and beliefs.  As much as I love words and writing, this approach fails miserably in trying to offer this lovely drink of Love to others.

Anyway, I am inspired to pose this question to others. It excites me because I feel that the question is one of the best, most provocative and timely one for us all. Let each and every one of us begin to answer the question, and in the process, discover and invite the Truth about what God really is - in the realm of feeling.

I'll begin with one who answered the question many years ago. I don't know who posed the question to Mr. James, but I loved the response.

"I remember the night, and almost the very spot on the hilltop, where my soul opened out, as it were, into the Infinite, and there was a rushing together of the two worlds, the inner and the outer. It was deep calling unto deep, the deep that my own struggle had opened up within being answered by the unfathomable deep without, reaching beyond the stars. I stood alone with Him who had made me, and all the beauty of the world, and love, and sorrow, and even temptation. I did not seek Him, but felt the perfect unison of my spirit with His. The ordinary sense of things around me faded. For the moment nothing but an ineffable joy and exaltation remained. It is impossible fully to describe the experience. It was like the effect of some great orchestra when all the separate notes have melted into one swelling harmony that leaves the listener conscious of nothing save that his soul is being wafted upwards, and almost bursting with its own emotion. The perfect stillness of the night was thrilled by a more solemn silence. The darkness held a presence that was all the more felt because it was not seen. I could not any more have doubted that He was there than that I was. Indeed, I felt myself to be, if possible, the less real of the two."  -- William James